Back when Mark and Leslie still lived at home in Michigan, the family kept an ongoing grocery list on the fridge. One summer day Jann took the list and went to the store. Gone for some time, she finally came home and left a bag of plastic Easter eggs on the landing of the stairs.
Leslie came home, saw the eggs on the way to her room, didn't think anything of it and kept going. Months passed and the eggs were still there, 'til one day Jann said to Leslie, "When are you going to take those eggs?" Leslie was entirely confused, saying they weren't hers. Jann answered, "You put 'fake eggs' on the grocery list." Leslie denied asking for them.
In the next room Dann started laughing. He said, "I put 'fake eggs' on the list. I meant Egg Beaters." Jann had spent who knows how long in the middle of summer searching the store for plastic Easter eggs when she really only needed to hit the dairy section.
Thursday, March 9, 2006
A new Starbucks drink
I was the barista yesterday during the morning rush. In a groove I moved cup after cup down the bar, checking the boxes for drinks and modifers. I picked up a venti hot cup and saw N in the milk box, WC crossed out in the custom box and WC in the drink box. According to our abbreviations, I needed to make a Venti Nonfat No Whip Cream Whip Cream. To me that meant an empty cup...easiest drink I've ever made.
Monday, March 6, 2006
A new Jann-ism
I forgot to mention this one. Our waiter on the cruise, Zubin, was from India and his catch phrase was "Yee-haw!" (He signed my shirt with an "E-ha!") Well, Jann tried to mimic Zubin's "Yee-haw" but in her excitement said "Hee-yaw" instead. After the laughter died down, everyone could tell when she was getting ready to shout it out, because she would pause and focus the phrase in her mind. But no matter how much focus she put into it, it still came out "Hee-yaw!"
A few more looks at the cruise
Some new pictures from the cruise came in...
Here is Mark, Andrea, Leslie, Jay and I on deck posing for Mom McKellar's "one last shot."
Mom and Dad...first-time cruisers!
Dad McKellar doing what he does best...relaxing.
The shirt...signed with birthday wishes by my fellow cruisers.
Saturday morning our ship circled around to pick up some Cuban refugees adrift in the Gulf of Mexico. They were met by Mexican authorities when we arrived at port.
My brother enjoying the remaining Baked Alaska at dinner.
Our ship
The family, cruising!
Here is Mark, Andrea, Leslie, Jay and I on deck posing for Mom McKellar's "one last shot."
Mom and Dad...first-time cruisers!
Dad McKellar doing what he does best...relaxing.
The shirt...signed with birthday wishes by my fellow cruisers.
Saturday morning our ship circled around to pick up some Cuban refugees adrift in the Gulf of Mexico. They were met by Mexican authorities when we arrived at port.
My brother enjoying the remaining Baked Alaska at dinner.
Our ship
The family, cruising!
Thursday, March 2, 2006
Moments on the Cruise
My darling friend Leslie (a professional photographer, check out portrayonline.com) sent me a few pictures from the cruise which highlight some comical moments.
Before the ship sets sail, they hold a "muster drill" (aka lifeboat drill). We hid out in our cabin during the drill, although we were discovered by our room steward. Even though we skipped out, we still practiced and listened to instructions over the PA. Here's my brother Jason trying on the life jacket.
Dinner on the second evening of the cruise was the Captain's Dinner, where everyone dresses up nice and formal. This is Mark (Leslie's brother) and I at the dinner, hanging out and laughing at Jann-isms (read below).
Zubin our waited pulled the best practical joke on my brother at the dinner. Jason ordered a double espresso with his dessert. Zubin set Leslie up with her camera as he then pretended to slip and drop the double espresso into Jason's lap. Leslie captured the moment with absolute brilliance.... The cup was empty.
On the last night of a cruise, the entire wait staff in the dining room comes out to lip synch a song and they take folks from the tables to join them. This time they performed "YMCA" and one waiter pulled this elderly lady up to sing along.
At first we thought she might have had too much wine, but by the end of the song, it seemed like she was just falling asleep while standing there. All the singing and hand motions seemed to tire her out.
Before the ship sets sail, they hold a "muster drill" (aka lifeboat drill). We hid out in our cabin during the drill, although we were discovered by our room steward. Even though we skipped out, we still practiced and listened to instructions over the PA. Here's my brother Jason trying on the life jacket.
Dinner on the second evening of the cruise was the Captain's Dinner, where everyone dresses up nice and formal. This is Mark (Leslie's brother) and I at the dinner, hanging out and laughing at Jann-isms (read below).
Zubin our waited pulled the best practical joke on my brother at the dinner. Jason ordered a double espresso with his dessert. Zubin set Leslie up with her camera as he then pretended to slip and drop the double espresso into Jason's lap. Leslie captured the moment with absolute brilliance.... The cup was empty.
On the last night of a cruise, the entire wait staff in the dining room comes out to lip synch a song and they take folks from the tables to join them. This time they performed "YMCA" and one waiter pulled this elderly lady up to sing along.
At first we thought she might have had too much wine, but by the end of the song, it seemed like she was just falling asleep while standing there. All the singing and hand motions seemed to tire her out.
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Jann-isms
So, I just got back from my 30th birthday cruise with my family and my second family, the McKellars. I'll post stories and pictures soon.
But in the meantime, I'll share some Jann-isms that we learned on the cruise. Mom McKellar's first name is Jann and she has a tendency to misuse common phrases - we call them "Jann-isms." For example, "to Hell in a handbasket" becomes "to heck in a handbag." Rather than giving a compliment with "superior to all" or "second to none," she mixes it up entirely with a "superior to none."
While the family was visiting Michigan last summer, Jann was so excited about taking everyone to this pizza place that a friend had highly recommended. As the family drove to Muskegon, she talked on and on about it. When asked the name of the place and where it was, Jann answered, "Uh, it's somethinnggg Pizza." HA! That would narrow it down quite a bit...to any pizza place that ends in "Pizza"...Domino's, Papa John's....
The last one for today, because I'm sure there will be more to come, is "tha 'hood." Jann recently heard the phrase "tha 'hood" but didn't know its origin, nor is she one to use much slang (or at least use it correctly). While she and Dad McKellar were out and about in Charleston, when they were ready to go home, she said to him, "Let's head back to tha 'hood!" To which he turned and looked at her. She thought it was a common phrase used by everyone in reference to his/her particular neighborhood or subdivision rather than the slang term that it is.
But in the meantime, I'll share some Jann-isms that we learned on the cruise. Mom McKellar's first name is Jann and she has a tendency to misuse common phrases - we call them "Jann-isms." For example, "to Hell in a handbasket" becomes "to heck in a handbag." Rather than giving a compliment with "superior to all" or "second to none," she mixes it up entirely with a "superior to none."
While the family was visiting Michigan last summer, Jann was so excited about taking everyone to this pizza place that a friend had highly recommended. As the family drove to Muskegon, she talked on and on about it. When asked the name of the place and where it was, Jann answered, "Uh, it's somethinnggg Pizza." HA! That would narrow it down quite a bit...to any pizza place that ends in "Pizza"...Domino's, Papa John's....
The last one for today, because I'm sure there will be more to come, is "tha 'hood." Jann recently heard the phrase "tha 'hood" but didn't know its origin, nor is she one to use much slang (or at least use it correctly). While she and Dad McKellar were out and about in Charleston, when they were ready to go home, she said to him, "Let's head back to tha 'hood!" To which he turned and looked at her. She thought it was a common phrase used by everyone in reference to his/her particular neighborhood or subdivision rather than the slang term that it is.
Thursday, January 26, 2006
TLC Celeb at Starbucks
A customer walked into my Starbucks this evening. I came up from the back to my register and there was Doug Wilson, from Trading Spaces, etc. on TLC. He was pleasant even as he chatted on his cell phone to someone in Sweden.
He only got a tall coffee but paid the $1.64 bill with a credit card. Soon after, he came back to buy a NY Times but couldn't find the dollar in his wallet. He paid with the credit card again, remarking to his friend on the phone that it helps get frequent flyer miles so he can fly around the world. ???
I'm sure my fellow baristas and I would have had a lovely time conversing with him if he was not on his cell phone. As it was, his comments to his Swedish friend sounded a bit uppity...ah, well, the life of the rich and famous. I wonder what he's doing in Nashville anyway....
He only got a tall coffee but paid the $1.64 bill with a credit card. Soon after, he came back to buy a NY Times but couldn't find the dollar in his wallet. He paid with the credit card again, remarking to his friend on the phone that it helps get frequent flyer miles so he can fly around the world. ???
I'm sure my fellow baristas and I would have had a lovely time conversing with him if he was not on his cell phone. As it was, his comments to his Swedish friend sounded a bit uppity...ah, well, the life of the rich and famous. I wonder what he's doing in Nashville anyway....
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